Resolutions Require Resolve

Last year is over. Whatever that means. Symbolically the new year brings new beginnings and in the case of 2012...new apocalypse theories. But, how different are you right now than you were on December 31st? Did the magic of the ball dropping transform you into the person you thought you were all along? Did your credit rating improve? Did you get a raise? Your spouse more desirable? Hell...are YOU more desirable?

Chances are...you're the same person (good or bad) that you were last year . Your resolutions, if you made any, won't be any easier to achieve just because the calendar shows a different year (unless your resolution was to correctly write/type 2012 instead of 2011). What resolutions require are not dates...they need resolve. You have to be capable of the change. You want to lose weight? If you wanted to get healthy 6 months ago, what's different now? Is exercise easier in 2012? Are you less hungry? Nah...you have to want it. (Side note...never write about healthy eating habits in a food court...self-fulfilling prophecy b)

This time of year is a reminder that everything you want to do (within reason) is possible. I say within reason because I don't want to be held responsible when some moron on meth decides that the Matrix wasn't just a movie and tries to jump off a building and fly like Neo. (RIP to that guy). It's also a reminder that the only obstacle to your success is your mind. Unless you have a medical condition, your weight is controlled by your eating, and exercise habits (and in some part genetics). Living within your means financially doesn't require more money, it requires more discipline. Here's where you find out who you are...are you the person who makes poor decisions and then concludes that the cards are stacked against you? Are you the person who stares in the mirror and accepts responsibility for their own flaws/faults? A little of both? It's less important to know what's going on in the world, than it is to know what's going on in YOU. Do you know everything that's happening with multiple celebrities, but can't figure out why you are short on funds a week before your check comes every month? (if you stop spending money on gossip mags...I'm just saying). Do you know how many diets Oprah has been on, while your treadmill collects dust in the corner? (Miss Celie is rich enough to be as big as she chooses to be...is she still with Stedman?)

I made no resolutions...well not for the new year. I resolve everyday to be better than I was yesterday. I guess that means I fail more than most. But I also succeed more than most. Resolutions are supposed to help you improve your life. Why should that only occur once per year?

Suggestion Box...will remain empty

I enjoy what I do (whatever that is...) I won't call it work because the word itself conjures images of toil/struggle/sweat that are not my reality. I tell jokes. Sometimes the format is extemporaneous ranting via YouTube. Other times I hop on stage and do the most courageous thing I've ever done...stand up (crowds can be rough...and women be shopppppinnnnnnng). Still other times, I write. In all genres, I attempt to amuse and inform. Rarely one without the other, because then I wouldn't be what I am...a comedian.

Often people ask me where I stand on the issues of the day (why they ask, I've yet to find out but hey...it pays). Whether those issues be societal or political, I never mind sharing my opinion. I've written in these pages before how much I loathe the labels of Democrat/Republican/Conservative/Liberal/Centrist/Libertarian/Progressive, etc. I loathe them because they open you to hypocrisy. If I'm a conservative and believe in a liberal policy, I have two choices. I can either stick with my label and force myself to go against my own beliefs about this liberal policy, or I can be called a hypocrite (unfairly i might add) for going against my alleged conservative leanings. Fuck that. I'm a human, first. If I'm sensitive to the feelings of another human and therefore hesitate to criticize all socially liberal policies...so what?

Now I've got an interview with CNN tomorrow. Interesting. Not with Comedy Central. Not with Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert...with Don Lemon (no 'stache?). Why? Is real life so ridiculous that only a comedian can make sense of it (I guess they couldn't get Jah Rule, huh)? Are people tired of hearing the same soundbites over and over (that was rhetorical as hell B...)? Doesn't matter. I'm still a comedian. I'll be on the air. I'll answer the questions. I'll be funny. What I will NOT be, is afraid to be myself. This is where the suggestions come in. "Munk you should wear this". "Munk, make sure you show them that you're intelligent". "Munk, be careful not to let them make you look like a fool". In order...I'll wear whatever I want...I always have. Show them I'm intelligent? Is this even a concern for people? People call me an idiot everyday B. Anytime I disagree with what they think, I'm OBVIOUSLY a moron because there is no other possible explanation for me having my own thoughts...Stop It B, perhaps? And I'm definitely not concerned with anyone making me look like a fool....oh it's not impossible. But it's unimportant. I don't coon. So, if anyone takes something I say out of context, or they just don't understand...that's not my concern. Watch the videos. Read the articles. But know this...I got a lot more Frank Sinatra influenced thinking than Bernie Mac. I'll do it my way to the grave...B

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Hidden Agendas and other Government Policies

Ask not what your country can do for you...but who can you screw in your country....or something like that.

Have you seen the new "anti-piracy" bill floating through congress all clandestinely and what not? The quotes are intentional. That the bill's intent is different from its title is probable. That its effects are far-reaching is definite.

Several websites have been shut down already by the Department of Homeland Security for piracy violations. Piracy is illegal. Yes. I get that. The Department of Homeland Security though? Really? And people want to discuss government waste. An entity created to protect our country from terrorist threats (don't pretend that you had even heard of a Homeland Security prior to 9/11...B? yeah you B...stop it) is now monitoring sites (mostly hip hop sites seemingly although i don't think it's an "anti-hip hop bill) looking for the nefarious international pirates who are selling unauthorized music.

Look, I know the music climate has changed. I also know that the labels are struggling with low record sales (partially because of piracy, and partially because a lot of this music does exactly what a Kirby vacuum was designed to do). But this bill is heavy handed and will impact the artists who are creating their own buzz online. Destroying the very nature of how we share and discover talent. How many of you would have heard of Drake without Myspace? Oh..."they're not targeting social networks". Gangbangers in drive by shootings aren't targeting innocent civilians, either. But how often do you see the news story about a a child caught in the cross-fire? The hype? Do NOT believe it. The bill is poorly written (surprise!) by people who wouldn't know a search engine from a diesel engine. That the creators of many of the websites with the most traffic are opposed to this bill gives you an idea of who wrote the bill. Youtube? Yeah...they could get shut down. Not because the people behind YouTube are posting illegal music, but because someone like you or me might post some copywritten material to share with others (with no intent to profit). Make no mistake, this is as much about money and lobbyist as it is about anything else.

It's also about freedom. The internet is a global community. If you come to my house and I play a CD for you, that's not piracy. If you go to my youtube page and I post that song...same thing. Now...if I sell you the song, that's illegal and I should be prosecuted. This bill prevents the latter AND the former. You're going to far, now. This is like responding to a slap with a gunshot. But hey....I guess it doesn't matter until you go to your favorite site and get that "404" message. Let's not wait until congress rapes our rights to occupy common sense (we've allowed the Patriot Act to go unchecked for a decade...it could happen). Let your congressman know that you want the government to address the budget, debt, foreign policy, jobs, and other REAL issues. SOPA? Stop it B.


P.S. for those of you who may think this is somewhat "self-serving"...perhaps. But ask yourself, would you have heard of me if it weren't for WSHH or GBTV sharing my content (without my consent mind you)? I didn't complain then because, as a new artist, I appreciated the exposure to different markets. A LOT of new artists feel that way. This bill would end that. Think about it....

Occupy Your Own Mind

Whose fault is it!!!! We need someone to blame!!!! It’s a circular argument. There are people to blame on both sides. The occupiers don’t help their own cause with blatant violations of the law (although to some degree…their intention was to disrupt, there are many people there who intended to be a part of a peaceful protest).It’s hard to feel good about defecating on police cars (even if you’re getting pulled for going 6 miles over…bastids!) The police aren’t helping with the occasionally heavy handed aggression used to control the crowd (I’ve seen the videos of the police using their batons to force the crowd to move even though the crowd is unarmed and offering no resistance). Whose fault is it?!

There are those who say the police are using necessary means to control the crowd. There would be no violence, they say, if the occupiers (they use more disparaging terms for them) would just go and get a job and stop occupying! That ignores the issues being brought forth by OWS (it also ignores that unemployment is as high as a giraffe’s tonsils but that’s another argument). There IS massive corruption on all levels of government. Politicians aren’t listening. So the age-old method of protest was brought in to existence. Whose fault is it? It’s not the politicians who created this economic mess? It’s not the people who’ve ignored the lies coming from Washington for years, only to pay attention to the misinformation coming from the media NOW? It’s not your fault? It’s not mine?

Most of the time when people are searching for someone to blame…it’s to avoid being blamed. It’s everyone’s fault. It’s our fault for allowing two parties with the exact same agenda (to retain power for their party) to control us through smear campaigns and misinformation (and reality TV I’m borderline convinced that the government created that bullshit). It’s our fault for voting party lines and NOT our conscience. It’s our fault for treating career politicians as saviors. It’s our fault. The blood is symbolically on our hands. Many of us are just spouting the talking points we’ve heard on television from whoever our favorite celebrity political analyst is (more on that in the next paragraph). Others have taken to using childish name-calling (which we were taught to ignore before kindergarten but now use as a weapon. It’s still childish b). Whose fault is it?

How often have you thought to yourself “that guy makes a good point” when watching CNN, MSNBC, FOX or whatever? Beck, Hannity, Limbaugh, Maher, Ratigan, Matthews….their job is to draw viewers. If these guys were really the smartest people in the room…why aren’t they running? If they are the most patriotic, best informed…why aren’t they in DC making the changes they talk about on their show? The same reason I’m not running. I’m an entertainer. I remind people of that daily. Yes, I have an opinion (and I’m blessed to be in a country that allows me to state that opinion without fear of imprisonment or worse), but I have NO desire to deal with the partisan bullshit that permeates today’s politics. Nope…I’m an entertainer….and so are the guys I just mentioned. Don’t believe me? Go back and find some clips of Beck when he was a centrist host on CNN who had as a goal…taking over for Larry King. Way easier gig than he’s got now. Name a popular centrist host….I’ll wait. You can’t. You can name a host that’s less to the right/left than the ones I listed…but tension and salacious speech moves the needle. Do you think a calmly stated, profanity free rant by me would have caught Glenn Beck’s attention? Imus? What if I was a white guy in a suit with no beard? If you REALLY believe you would have even heard of me if it weren’t for my appearance and word choices, I’ve got some of that unicorn dust left for sale.

Beck to the right of me!!!!

Maher to the left of me!!!!

It’s OUR fault. If it’s important to you, go to source documents. Go to the ows website. Don’t read and then compare what you read to what the “stars” are saying. Comparing it to how you were raised. Compare it to how you raise your children. Compare it to what YOU believe. THEN act. Doesn’t mean you will agree with the movement…but you won’t sound like a clone when discussing it. OWS is flawed. The police’s response is flawed. WE are flawed. So what is the solution?

First, dismantle the political parties. Yes, that’s how it’s always been. At one point in our history, people had always thought the world was flat. At some point in our history slavery was legal. At some point in our history (at least in England) people didn’t bathe regularly. Now all of these things are considered disgusting (except for the world being flat…that’s just stupid). So…just because we’ve always had a 2 party system doesn’t mean we have to continue. Second, vote. “My vote doesn’t count anyway”…it damn sure doesn’t if you don’t cast it (sidenote: if you believe that the illuminati or other secret organization controls everything and thus your vote is irrelevant…so is reading this article. You are helpless and hopeless. Good luck on the revolution. Also…Tupac is dead. Sorry.). Third, recognize the things like race, religion, location, sex, sexual orientation, age, etc. that have been used to divide us, and turn away from anything that ends in –ism unless it’s inclusive. (everybodyism?)

This is a short list…and it’s just a start. But it’s not a policy that needs to be changed. It’s not a legislator that needs to go. It’s a MINDSET that needs to be created. Change your thinking. Change your life.

I'M POPEYE B*&%%!!!!

My name is Felonious Munk, and I'm a comedian. I know this comes as a surprise to many of you who have watched my videos. Yes, there is humor in the videos, but I often tackle very serious issues/subjects. Yet, the videos are but one area of my comedy. I perform stand up. I write satire and humor articles. I do characters, accents, and impersonations.

I am a comedian. Who Am I? At the risk of sounding self-absorbed, google me, baby. I've been reading about Donald Glover (whom I respect a lot for being unafraid to be really good at a variety of things) and it occurred to me that I may not fit into your traditional idea of "comedian". Cool. "nobody built like (me, I) designed myself". What Jay Z said there isn't (in my mind, at least) any type of statement relating to a Higher Power creating/not creating him. It's about taking responsibility for your own person.

I'm a comedian. Even when I'm not funny. The process requires that I view life logically, to determine what is illogical. Well...MY process requires it. See, that's the thing....it's MY process. It's always funny when someone argues with me about who/what I am. If you introduce yourself to me as "Johnathan", how weird would it be if I said "no, you are Muhammad. When I look at you I see a Muhammad"? Enjoy my work. Criticize my work. Hate my work. But, while I'm alive...don't define my work FOR me. Because...before I'm a comedian...I'm a man.

A man doesn't let life dictate to him. A man dictates (through his decisions and actions) what his life will be like. A man isn't limited by his past...he's motivated (and educated) by that past. I will never ACT like a man. A lion doesn't have to act like a lion.

So if you ever mistake my roar for that of a different creature...that will be your issue. I'll continue roaring. I'll continue being a man. And I'll continue being a comedian...even when I'm not funny.




P.S. You should be at Pace Univ in Manhattan for this ---> PACE HERE WE COME!!!!!

Gaddafi's Dead (allegedly)...Now....

Another one bites the dust....and another one does and another one does...another one bites the dust. Queen's song could be the dictator's anthem after a year where Middle East leaders seem to be falling faster than Congress' approval ratings.

But, is this just another diversion from our issues here at home? For 40 years, Gaddafi reigned in Libya. That he was oppressive to his own people is as much a matter of public record as is his eccentric personality. I'd like to care. I'd like to hail this as a victory for freedom and peace and all things involving unicorns and pixie dust. Unfortunately...I haven't seen any of the change here in my own country that the residents of the countries we're "helping" seem to be looking forward to enjoying.

Look, I understand that oppression anywhere is deplorable. But I've got a plank in my own eye. So forgive me if the splinter in the eye of the Middle East isn't my primary concern. Watching the Republican debates leaves me believing that the entire platform of the party is "let's get rid of Obama and figure out what to do AFTER....". The Obama camp seems to be in full circle the wagons mode. Neither is addressing the business of running the country.

But...Gaddafi is dead!! Scream it from the rooftops! Then tell me how it affects the Occupy Wall Street protests. Tell me how it impacts the polarized America that sees the protesters as either unemployed bums determined to undermine (and eventually destroy) our way of life, or a group of patriots fed up with being marginalized into a silent majority. Perhaps I was raised to simplify things to the point of understanding them. Only after getting a basic understanding do I attempt to add the layers of complexity. Maybe that's the wrong way. Maybe not. But the current discussion that includes childish name calling (from both sides), finger pointing (from both sides), and misrepresentation of the truth (from.both.sides) leads us where?

But...Gaddafi is dead!!! Yeah, I know...so is Bin Laden. So is Saddam. Is the American Dream next? Is it still alive? I'd like to see the body before they dump it in the ocean...politics as usual..... Stop it B

Munk Debunks Myths

"You don't speak the way you look...". What does that mean? No I don't take that as disrespect. Just like "you speak so well" isn't disrespectful...to ME. It is, however, disrespectful to the person making such an absurd statement.

That you believe my appearance is any indication of my ability to articulate my thoughts and transform them into speech is an example of YOUR preconceived notions. Why should your past experiences be disrespectful to me? If I wear a suit everyday, does that make me a professional? I worked in the car business for years and I will tell you that the suit did NOT make the man. From a very young age, most of us have heard "don't judge a book by it's cover"....and yet here you are handing down intellectual verdicts based on the tilt of my Yankee fitted. And still....it's ME that you ask to make adjustments.

Nah...I'm good. Hip hop is violent and misogynist and filled with ignorance...except I'm hip hop. I love and respect the women in my family. I'm not alone. I've made mistakes  (like most humans), but as I've grown, my love for hip hop and it's culture hasn't diminished. In a world of people who claim to hate stereotypes and generalizations, I've been taken to task for either being "too urban" or "too white sounding". Yeah...about that...

That you've chosen a particular path (and in many cases limited your options) has no bearing on me. I can love Martin AND Malcolm. I can love Tupac AND Biggie. And i can love slang AND the queen's English. While you are critiquing my manner of speech, have you looked at the content? Often it's the same people quoting MLK jr. "not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character" who are ignoring character and focusing on apparel. Focusing on language. Focusing on your party affiliations.

If I've shown nothing, I've shown that I can't be placed in a box. Interviewers like Jay Nordlinger (National Review) have traveled to Virginia to ascertain my true political leanings, only to leave without being able to categorize. I'm not riding the fence. I'm not waffling. I'm using logic. If the conservatives say that Occupy Wall Street is a Marxist plot, I am allowed to disagree. But, that doesn't preclude me from later agreeing with their position on another issue. My skin doesn't force me to agree with everyone who shares my melanin content. If a black man shoots another black man in cold blood...should I defend him "because he's my brother"? Should I excuse his behavior because of the economic factors created by slavery, and Jim Crow laws that only in the last generation and a half have been lifted? If a white man saves a black man's life should I be forced to point out the paternal pattern of "Different Strokes" humanitarianism that Whites have engaged in throughout the years is just a product of "White guilt" and he's probably still secretly a racist?

Judge. Judge. Judge. In Christian scripture (Matt 7:1-2) it is translated "judge not, lest ye be judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall BE judged" (emphasis mine). While pointing the finger at the rich, affluent, poor, "entitled", black, white, latino, man...are you really making a difference? Golden rule quotes with bronze rule actions. I am hip hop. I am articulate. I am real. I am not your verdict....Stop it B!