Perception is...perception

It's a commonly held belief that "perception is reality". But commonly held doesn't mean correct.(Side note: I'm listening to the Essential Thelonious Monk album while penning this prose...thought u should know). First let's define the two words.Perception is the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding. Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. Got it.Perception is how you see it. Reality is how it is.

Seems simple enough. So why would anyone want you to think otherwise. Well let's start with the god complex as it exists throughout the west. We are the ultimate authority on everything.We view the world through our lens and those who differ are savages at best and haters of freedom at worst. Yep...as much as we complain about the problems in this country, most of which are our fault, every other system is shit. We can't be wrong. And since the only infallible being in life, literature, imagination is God...yep...we must think we're the Creator. It's not just arrogantly thinking we're right. It's an attempt to control minds. Less than 40% of us have passports (117,014,020 as of January 2012) So60+% of us only know about other countries through hearsay. TV is hearsay. You weren't there. But let's go further, polls show that 84% of Americans (89% of Republicans) think America is the greatest country on earth. Go back and look at the passport stat again. Let's assume that everyone with a passport has traveled to every country in the world. That means half the people speaking have no direct knowledge. And yet...we fight wars to protect our way of life....or our perception of that way.

Another reason we like to continue this garbage way of thinking is...it's good for business. "Clothes make the man". Certain clothes give you the appearance of success. Certain cars. Now, to be clear, buying good quality clothes is cool. Paying for quality isn't the same as paying for a brand though. But the commercials will make you think your life is incomplete without the newest shoe, jeans, purse....Stop it B indeed. We're no longer in control of our own minds. What makes you a good person? I can assure you it's not"things"...and yet, that's the perception. Ladies, how many times have you walked past the plain guy and went for the guy with the nice “things”.Men, how many times have you ignored the plain woman because you were looking at the “things”. It’s perception. Men who have nice things “appear” to be successful. He might have bad credit and be living with his mother. She has a beautiful body but low self esteem. But the perception is reality. He’s successful and she’s beautiful….and the divorce rate is 50%

Look, people used to perceive the earth as flat. It wasn’t. But the perception that it was flat kept people from traveling beyond where they could see for fear of falling off the edge of the world. Same thing is going on today. The government and the media know that we don’t research beyond what we can perceive. No new trails blazed. Let’s stop Kony, fight terrorism, and fight the war on drugs…and ignore that Kony is US funded (as is the Ugandan government), we’re fighting Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan (while they use our weapons) but fighting side by side with Al-Qaeda in Libya, and the drugs come in through US ports (and have for years).Perception. Reality. Not the same. Believe what you will, but that doesn’t make it true.

Help Munk Raise His Sons

There are several movements out there regarding raising your children. My man Brick James' movement immediately comes to mind. The Bearded Brother suggests (emphatically) that you should "father your sons". Yep. You should. It definitely takes a man to teach a boy how to become a man. But what of the boys who have no fathers? Who will father our lost sons?

Where is Mufasa when you need him?

I volunteer! They say it takes a village to raise a child. I'm a villager. Some of my sons have reached the legal age of maturity and never got "snatched up by their pops"...I'm snatching em up. If you reached adulthood as a male and you still believe your manhood is in anyway attached to your penis....you need a father. If you believe that what you wear/drive/drink is in any way relevant to your manhood...you need a father. If you're looking for chaste women while putting your condomless baby maker in some random chick you met at the club last night....let me raise you my sons!

Don't fight me on this one my sons. I know if feels "beneath you" to approach another man for advice on being a man...but the first thing you need to accept is...you're not yet a man. Let's take the previous paragraph's points in order.

Somebody needs to whip my sons into shape...probably not this guy tho

If you brag on your dick...whether in public or in private (whether true or false...yeah dudes are still lying on their dicks) you're not a man. As a man I'm not concerned with who you sleep with. So the only reason you would tell me is...?!?! Yeah, serves no point. Unless I'm asking a friend if he slept with so and so because I'm interested in her, there's no reason whatsoever for you to discuss the previous resting places of your semen dispenser. Plus, bragging on your conquests is a sign that you're not secure and you're seeking my approval...let me raise you my sons!

Now, I know that money is a necessity. Food clothing and shelter require money. And there is definitely nothing wrong with liking nice things. I enjoy nice locations, with nice views, while wearing quality fabrics, and sipping something that quenches my thirst. But....without those things, MY value isn't diminished. Handling your obligations before splurging makes you a man. Telling me about the bottles you popped, or how man pairs of sneakers you own means nothing if you're still going to court for back child support and your cell phone goes off every other month. You could be the freshest dude in the club...but if you're not paying your bills....yeah...come to me my sons...let me learn you something!

The last point was placed intentionally because most people remember the last thing they read. How we view/treat women is amazing to me. Amazing because most of us KNOW who our mothers are. How did we come up with these rules for dating that basically make us blameless for the success/failure of a relationship and placing the burden solely on the woman? Guys have amazing requirements. She needs to have a low body count (for the uninitiated that means she hasn't fucked much prior to meeting you), can't smoke, go to the club, flirt online...you mother fuckers are looking for a 16 year old. Look, I have no idea what it's like to be a woman. I'm not trying to think like a woman. But I'm also not asking a woman to ignore my past while I hold her accountable for every bad decision she made. I'm looking for someone that makes my day easier. Someone supportive who respects my goals and desires....someone I can build with. Her past may have prepared her to be that person...just like the lessons I learned in MY past made me the man I am today. If you are looking for the virgin Mary, shouldn't you be Joseph? My sons...don't be a grown ass kid. Man up time is now. Hate me for being honest..but I know...deep down inside you hate yourself more.

#HelpMunkFatherHisSons

P.S. I'm cool if you ignore this advice...your girl didn't....

Easter Sunday!!!! and it's ALL Jesus' fault!

It's Easter Sunday. For those who celebrate Easter, I hope you had a wonderful day. For those who don't...I hope you had a wonderful day. Pretty simple concept. Whatever you do...enjoy it.

Is it this?...............................Or this? (does it matter?)

Of course, this day like all other Christian holidays, was filled with the type of intolerance that leads to...hatred. "Do you know the history of Easter?"..."You must be an idiot if you think rabbits lay chocolate eggs"..."Jesus doesn't care about your dress"...so? Tolerance doesn't mean agreement. It's always a mistake to assume that people that don't live the way you live must not know what you know. "If you knew better, you'd do better"...wrong. Just because some bullshit rhymes doesn't make it accurate. We all know the speed limit, yet most people still speed. It's not a lack of knowledge. In life, people make choices. People make decisions. A LOT of things people do, are not things I would do. But...it doesn't change my life. Jokes are jokes. But disrespecting another person's beliefs is not only unnecessary, but also demeans YOU. If your way of life is superior, then it should improve you as a person, no? If their faith doesn't infringe on YOURS...why bother? You create animosity over something as trivial as what they did with their Sunday.

How would Abraham feel about how his kids are acting?

Doesn't really matter. People aren't interested in working together. Fuck getting along. Let's keep this segregated thinking going. If you were born in a Muslim nation...distrust all other religions. I can see how that has helped over the centuries. Christians/Jews...continue your fear campaign against Muslims...that's really kept the entire world safe! Atheists/Agnostics...don't ever let an opportunity to denounce organized religion. This is what we were created to do...FIGHT!!! This is what Christians believe Jesus rose again for! wait...

http://youtube.com/fmunkmoc

http://twitter.com/felonious_munk

http://facebook.com/feloniousmunkfans

http://stopitb.com

Brain Dump Volume 4

Politicians can face the camera...they're scared of the nation

This is the real "Face the Nation" program. Except nobody will be pretending to be irate. I won't have on a suit. There will be no "hot topics". I'm a political thug.

I'm hosting this program...the sweater vest says "I mean business"

This is how normal people really discuss politics. No commercial breaks. (but u can cop that stop it B gear by clicking this link) No talking points. (I really have no idea what these blogs will look like until they're done) Just honest talk. The problem with government is simple...nobody likes to be told what to do.(I'm talking about the basic idea of government. The problem with our government is that people are bought) Ok...that's too general. MOST people don't like to be told what to do. That's why we prefer systems of government that make us feel like we're in control. (it's like real estate...you feel like you own it...but u can't REALLY do whatever you want with it...and you better pay those taxes) Consider the United States. We believe our government to be "of the people, by the people, and for the people". Well...yeah it's "of"...kinda. I mean, the people are citizens (except Obama apparently...Dumas). But are they truly "of" the people? How many Lawyers are in government by percentage? And what percentage of the general population are lawyers? "Well many lawyers study political science which makes them better suited to..." stfu. Many Republicans love Reagan...what law school did he graduate from? Dude made movies with monkeys, and, love him or hate him he was one of the most effective Presidents in the last 40 years. So...no, it's not exactly "of" the people...it's "of" the lawyers. Is it "by" the people? Yes...if by the people means people who lived 250 years ago when our society was based on land ownership, slavery, and manifest destiny. Keeping in mind that the constitution was written during a time when only white males had rights...and keeping in mind that there are more people in this country who are NOT white males...the answer is clearly, no. It was not written by anyone who looked like me, nor any woman, latino, asian, indian, mormon, muslim, atheist....it was not written by people who represent the current majority. And "for"? Do I really need to discuss why the government is not "for" people?

Fuck your constitution, B...I'm serious...

So if we don't believe our government is "of, by, and for"...and it isn't...why do we accept it? Because we don't know how to change it. We've been told forever that our way of government is the best. And based on how fast America has grown, that's a solid argument to make. However, as with most things, when something is the best, the competition studies it, makes adjustments and eventually takes over...if the leader remains stagnant. This is my primary argument against the "return to values" call made by some on the right. Not that I don't think people should have values, but if we're not evolving into something that is viable in relation to the rest of the world, we're devolving. Pick. Dammit...digressing again. Anyway, we don't know how to change it. We can feel that it's not working. Common sense tells us we're uncomfortable. Prices are rising faster than wages. Joblessness has increased. There are friction between nearly every individual group in this country. Illegals...Muslims...rich...poor...old...young....this is a melting pot? Nah...more like a potluck at work where everyone is scared to eat what they didn't bring. I mean...Ned in accounting doesn't look like he's got good hygiene...I'm not eating that casserole. So...ignore those who say complaining about capitalism means you're a socialist. If I complain about my job it doesn't mean I want a new job...it means I want things to be better at my current job. Complaining is my way of identifying the problem. Once it's identified, I take steps to improve the situation. If the problem is me, I fix me. If the problem is the way things are done, I approach the appropriate person with an action plan on how to make it better. If the problem is someone else, I tell them the shut the hell up and mind their business. Brain Dump bottom line: the writers of the constitution had as a goal "to form a more perfect union". Since that union has grown, we should be constantly trying to improve on that formation. Fear is for the suckers. Don't be a sucker.

Is this the best and the brightest????

Mitt or Rick? Ron? How did Newt get here...these are all questions people are asking if they are following the Republican primaries. I have no answers. None of the candidates is flawless. It boils down to what YOU make a priority. Mitt is stable and in the middle. Although he occasionally panders to the conservative right....Stop it B. We know he's not a conservative. His voting record is closer to Obama's than anyone else's. Voting for him as a right wing conservative is like saying "Obama isn't that bad, I just prefer Mormon's over Muslims"...not that there's anything wrong with that. Rick...conservative...definitely. But he will polarize during the general election. His views on racial profiling, abortion, gay marriage, etc. will win him votes among the conservatives, but what about the independents (you know...the people who actually decide most elections...)? Ron Paul may be the most sincere candidate we've had in years. There is almost no need to ask him a question. You know what his answer will be..political correctness be damned! But...many people OFF the internet think he's batshit crazy. As an aside...ANYone who desires the pressure of the presidency is batshit crazy to me so Dr. Paul is just like them. Dammit...digression is my weakness. Anyway, since nobody can explain Newt's existence (or the fact that he attracts and cheats on women while looking like a mini version of Jabba the Hut) I won't even discuss him...further. Brain Dump bottom line: depending on who you listen to, either Obama is in big trouble, or the Republicans have no chance. Listen to YOU...vote for what YOU believe in. Parties are for people who didn't have enough friends as children.

I don't feel like blogging anymore today. So I won't. Buy your tickets to my March 30 show in Va....or lose your right to vote. Buy tickets for Bodacious and Felonious Munk at Ella Fitzgerald Theater

Brain Dump Vol 3

Trayvon Martin's killer is still free. Action for Trayvon Video ... As time goes on and more information comes out, this case sucks increasingly. After listening to the 911 tapes that were released, it's obvious that someone was screaming, and that the screaming immediately stopped after the shots were fired. Look...I wasn't there. But the response given by the authorities just doesn't match the information that's coming out. The idea that the "stand your ground law" even applies is sketchy at best. Click here to read about the "stand your ground law" Check out Conditions of Use and if you think justice needs to be served, call (321) 480-1163 and ask the state attorney why no charges have been filed. Brain Dump bottom line: a killer walks free. a child is dead. Happy St. Patrick's Day

"They really have bumper stickers that say don't Re-Nig? I'm half white!"

Speaking of...St. Patrick's Day is a unique religious experience. It is a Catholic holiday celebrating the life of the pre-eminent Irish patron Saint Patrick. For those participating in Lent it lifts the prohibitions on certain foods and alcohol. Like in most cases, when you've been denied something and then the restriction is lifted...you overdose. So of course "errbody in the club gettin tipsy" tonight. Green beer and the subsequent green vomit is a staple of the holiday. Get in touch with your Irish heritage...and remember, the Brits don't really care about race, they colonized the Irish first. Brain Dump bottom line: this is the only holiday that encourages alcoholism...go Ireland!

She didn't do her kegels

Changing direction with no transitional material (thank you George Carlin for telling me it was ok)...let's talk about prostitutes. Not the ones who KNOW they are prostitutes, but the pseudo-independent women who attach a value to their vajayjay as a way of asserting their sexual independence. Let's talk about some definitions, shall we? (the question is rhetorical...of course we shall...it's MY blog...duh) The practice or occupation of engaging in sex with someone for payment is known as prostitution. Let's look at some statements from some "independent thinking" women in 2012. "No romance without finance"...loosely translated does that not mean "no sex without payment"? How about "if your phone is cut off, you must have terrible pussy"...does that mean if your phone bill is due and you don't have the money, you should give someone some pussy and they should pay your phone bill? Look, I know times have changed. Do whatever you want to with your sex life. Just don't get mad at me for using the actual definition of the word "prostitute" when I see the behavior. Suggesting that anyone give you anything in exchange for sex is prostitution. It's illegal. You criminals. And fellas "it ain't tricking if you got it" is some more bollocks (british cuss words...respect my g..entleman). Tricking is spending money on a woman with the intention of receiving some form of sexual favor in return. If you got it...and you spend it with the intention of getting some...you're a trick...a john...a customer. These aren't my definitions, these are the dictionary definitions. Well, not of trick...that's slang, but I digress. The issue isn't really whether or not you're a prostitute or a trick. The issue is, we don't really value relationships the way we used to. Men meet women with the intention of NOT settling down. Women meet men knowing that men have little intention of settling down, so they have decided to get something in return for their time/sex other than...wasted time and subpar sex. Women with high self esteem have taken control of this fruitless ritual and are the aformentioned "independents". Men who swear they want nothing to do with these women (which reeks of latent homosexuality by the way...not that there's anything wrong with that) go out of their way to flaunt their material possessions in order to attract the attention of these independent women. This train has no destination. Brain Dump bottom line: don't play that game if you don't want to lose...and everybody loses when you play that game. Get it?

Humble yourself! Ok...everyone will disagree with this paragraph. I will write it anyway. By definition, humble is NOT a positive word. Don't take my word for it....look it up. It means to lower yourself. Not proud or arrogant (seems positive until...)...low in rank/importance/status/quality. Now...although boastful and arrogant people are annoying, most people agree that you should take pride in a job well done. If you worked hard at something and reaped the benefits of that hard work, there is no shame in that. But humble suggests that you actively downplay your success. Let's talk about happiness for just a second. Happiness comes from within (again...this is not a special munk secret...most people agree). So if happiness comes from within, you have to think highly of yourself to be happy, no? Being humble would seem to be counter to your happiness. Our nature when we do something well is to feel good about it. We're taught to cover that feeling with the cloak of humility. Why? So we don't offend those who haven't achieved. So humility isn't to make US happy...it's to make the people who are less successful happy. Oh. To those offended by the success of others, sod off (more brit cussing...i'm nice with it, b). I'm not responsible for your happiness. If seeing me win bothers you, I suggest you stop watching. Brain Dump bottom line: Humble deeeeeeeeeeeeez....

Come see me and Bo Dacious on March 30th or Leprechauns will kidnap your dog and humiliate you. Click Here for tickets

Action for Trayvon Martin

Brain Dump Volume 2

Ok...i thought this would be a once a week thing. My brain doesn't give a damn what I think. I know...I used brain and think in the same sentence in a confusing way. So? Anyway, I realized that the purpose of a brain dump was to clear your mind of backed up thoughts. Apparently my brain gets full without a schedule. So...much less than a week later...here is volume 2

Context: I'm listening to Jay Electronica's Victory Mixtape while penning this blog. It's so good that it's caused people to become disenchanted with Erykah Badu's baby daddy. Pretty much people are mad because you haven't provided us with new music. Mad selfish son. Brain Dump bottom line: Download that Action Bronson "Blue Chips" mixtape. Don't depend on one artist for good music.


This next topic was brought to light by the following tweet:

 

Before you go off...

Now...because I'm a firm believer in reading the entire thread before commenting, I read it. Nothing in that thread was out of order to me. Some people reading this will say "but it said they think women are their equals". True...but a further investigation of the thread will show that she didn't mean women are due the same rights as men. She meant equal as in same. "then she should have said that"...whatever. We can spend 10 minutes debating her word choice or you can move on with your life. If I understand what you're saying then why do I care how you say it? Point is...even if SHE feels like that...that's her. But she doesn't. So let's investigate the "equal vs same" issue a little further. (feel free to call Gloria Steinem right now and complain) Part of the issue with Equal rights movements is trying to define "equal". The word "same" is indeed used in more than one of the definitions of equal (yes there are multiple definitions to words, if this is news to you...your kids are at a disadvantage). But for the sake of this blog allow me to define it so you know what I'M talking about. Let's use equal to mean valued the same. For example, I can either buy a new SUV or a new coupe for 35,000. The price (value) is equal. However, they are not the same. I can't use both to carry 7 passengers comfortably. I can't drop the top on both. (well not without a lot of augmentation...see where I'm going with this). Instead of getting pissed off at those who think differently than we do, BE equal. If you're an independent woman and you feel like you and your partner should share everything equally...bills, household chores, disciplining of children, etc...make sure you find a partner who shares those beliefs and values. If you are a woman who feels like having a man handle the finances while you handle the household responsibilities works...find you a partner who shares those beliefs and values. Neither of you are helping your cause by telling the other how screwed up her thinking is. Men are the same...some men want an independent partner and some want the stay at home mom type. A preference is a preference. Brain Dump bottom line: stop trying to force other people to respect you while you're simultaneously not respecting them. It reeks of hypocrisy...and Old Spice body spray.


I've decided to trade in my normal cuss words for British cuss words. Most people who have a problem with my language are from the states. But most people from the states have no problem with words like wanker, bollocks, balderdash, etc...(which gives credence to my argument that words themselves are not offensive...it's how you take them). Anyway, because people would rather listen to hogwash delivered with flowers than something beneficial and profane, I'll use a vulcan mind trick by taking my profanity cues from my mates across the pond. Brain Dump bottom line: If you don't like my language you can sod off you bloody wanker.


Soulja boy wrote a song to aid the Stop Kony efforts. I didn't care.

starting his Munk beard

Contrast that with the story of George Clooney, his father, Martin Luther King III, and many others (including Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va) being arrested in the Sudan for protesting the blocking of of food and aid as well as the poor treatment of the people in general. I will applaud their effort and simultaneously wish someone of that stature would speak up for Trayvon Martin. Seriously, I have no problem with that type of activism. Perhaps I should find a celebrity with that type of clout and persistently ask them to get involved. I can't tell people how to prioritize though. Brain Dump bottom line: There are issues all over the world. Instead of complaining about who is doing it wrong, let's spend that time on the issues WE feel are important to us.

Only 2 weeks left until the March 30th show in VA. We did a commercial ----> http://t.co/nTnm7i1a

ok...brain is dumped.