Help Munk Raise His Sons

There are several movements out there regarding raising your children. My man Brick James' movement immediately comes to mind. The Bearded Brother suggests (emphatically) that you should "father your sons". Yep. You should. It definitely takes a man to teach a boy how to become a man. But what of the boys who have no fathers? Who will father our lost sons?

Where is Mufasa when you need him?

I volunteer! They say it takes a village to raise a child. I'm a villager. Some of my sons have reached the legal age of maturity and never got "snatched up by their pops"...I'm snatching em up. If you reached adulthood as a male and you still believe your manhood is in anyway attached to your penis....you need a father. If you believe that what you wear/drive/drink is in any way relevant to your manhood...you need a father. If you're looking for chaste women while putting your condomless baby maker in some random chick you met at the club last night....let me raise you my sons!

Don't fight me on this one my sons. I know if feels "beneath you" to approach another man for advice on being a man...but the first thing you need to accept is...you're not yet a man. Let's take the previous paragraph's points in order.

Somebody needs to whip my sons into shape...probably not this guy tho

If you brag on your dick...whether in public or in private (whether true or false...yeah dudes are still lying on their dicks) you're not a man. As a man I'm not concerned with who you sleep with. So the only reason you would tell me is...?!?! Yeah, serves no point. Unless I'm asking a friend if he slept with so and so because I'm interested in her, there's no reason whatsoever for you to discuss the previous resting places of your semen dispenser. Plus, bragging on your conquests is a sign that you're not secure and you're seeking my approval...let me raise you my sons!

Now, I know that money is a necessity. Food clothing and shelter require money. And there is definitely nothing wrong with liking nice things. I enjoy nice locations, with nice views, while wearing quality fabrics, and sipping something that quenches my thirst. But....without those things, MY value isn't diminished. Handling your obligations before splurging makes you a man. Telling me about the bottles you popped, or how man pairs of sneakers you own means nothing if you're still going to court for back child support and your cell phone goes off every other month. You could be the freshest dude in the club...but if you're not paying your bills....yeah...come to me my sons...let me learn you something!

The last point was placed intentionally because most people remember the last thing they read. How we view/treat women is amazing to me. Amazing because most of us KNOW who our mothers are. How did we come up with these rules for dating that basically make us blameless for the success/failure of a relationship and placing the burden solely on the woman? Guys have amazing requirements. She needs to have a low body count (for the uninitiated that means she hasn't fucked much prior to meeting you), can't smoke, go to the club, flirt online...you mother fuckers are looking for a 16 year old. Look, I have no idea what it's like to be a woman. I'm not trying to think like a woman. But I'm also not asking a woman to ignore my past while I hold her accountable for every bad decision she made. I'm looking for someone that makes my day easier. Someone supportive who respects my goals and desires....someone I can build with. Her past may have prepared her to be that person...just like the lessons I learned in MY past made me the man I am today. If you are looking for the virgin Mary, shouldn't you be Joseph? My sons...don't be a grown ass kid. Man up time is now. Hate me for being honest..but I know...deep down inside you hate yourself more.

#HelpMunkFatherHisSons

P.S. I'm cool if you ignore this advice...your girl didn't....